Mourning in our culture isn’t always easy. Normal thoughts and feelings connected to loss are typically seen as unnecessary and even shameful. Instead of encouraging mourners to express themselves, our culture’s unstated rules would have them avoid their hurt and ‘be strong.’ But grief is not a disease. Instead, it’s the normal, healthy process of embracing the mystery of the death of someone loved. If mourners see themselves as active participants in their healing, they will experience a renewed sense of meaning and purpose in life.

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what has passed away
Or what is yet to be

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

Death was part of the deal when we accepted the idea of birth. Our entrance into this world came with a contract to leave it. So, whether you sigh with relief at the end of a torturous moment, or desperately wish some Hollywood movie-like instant could last forever, every moment comes to an end. Every story has an end, regardless of whether that end is happy or sad. Nevertheless, when a moment or a lifetime ends, we cannot argue with it. There is no room for negotiation. Recognizing this reality is the way we come into contact with death in everyday life.

Death is not extinguishing the light, it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.

There is no darkness, only light unseen

This is hard
How can I be with this?
I will do my best to be with this now.
May I be kind to myself.
May I give myself the compassion I need.

As much as we might resist them, endings happen in every moment—the end of a breath, a day, a relationship, and ultimately, the end of life. Accompanying each ending is a new beginning.